Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Is it worth it?

There is something the "Bhagvad Gita" which states something to the effect of, "Work your ass off and forget about the expected rewards".

I have been working too hard for a few months now, chasing a dream. Its not been a pain. It's actually been fun as I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making sense of disparate bits of specifications and give something working first time. I enjoy (after a hard day's work of politicking and alignment meetings) to just take a piece of analog circuitry, make sense out of it and get it to work.

These days though, I have been able to get very little of analog circuit design. It's been mostly emailing, ppt'ing, MS-Word'ing and meeting reservation-ing. It is still fun. It is still nice to make a difference and have people listen to and be influenced by what you are saying. It's nice to feel in a corner of your heart that the project will be seriously hit if you were not around.

So while I have no complaints about what I do, sometimes I do wonder if it all is worth it for various reasons.

While I have been chasing one dream, another one has come to fruition. I have held it dear to me for the last eight years. Held it close to my heart. Wept over it. Tossed and turned at night lying awake, dreaming of it. Today it's mine. Do I feel happy?

Well you can say a bit but I am frankly not over the moon about it. Hell, I have'nt even updated my Linkedin and perhaps have no intention to.

So...is it all worth it?